Connections and Friends

In the last few months, this issue has been more and more pressing as time passes. I know I've never really been on the same page as anyone else. I never had the same high school experiences, or college experiences and i'm alright with that. ive made my choices and have owned up to every single one. i dont regret anything... but the more and more i become  independent, the farther i grow from my friends. i dont value their opinions so much. i dont feel compelled to tell them everything; anything for that matter. as a matter of fact, i cant stand some anymore. i cant deal with selfish bullshit, and drunken pictures. i cant stand how some think they are that much better than the others. i just flat out cant hang anymore. with a 3 year relationship becoming extremely serious, a new apartment, and a family in the near future, i just dont find the joys of tiresome "teen" angst, gossip, bashing, and other child-like behaviors. no thanks but that it in the past. goodbye old life. goodbye old friends. goodbye memories. just goodbye!

2008

1) Where​ did you begin​ 2008?​
ummm, i don't even remember. i know it was with mike.


2) What was your marit​al statu​s by Valen​tine'​s Day?
my second valentine's day with mike


3) Were you in schoo​l anyti​me this year?​
yes. i finished lincoln tech, and im finishing mcc. then, onto mass college of pharmacy

4) How did you earn your money​?​
working at mass general and costco pharmacy. i dish out drugs at a small cost!


5) Did you have to go to the hospi​tal?​
daily...i worked at mass general hospital.

6) Did you have any encou​nters​ with the polic​e?​
yes, my car was broken into. so i had to call the cops


8) What did you purch​ase that was over $​1000?​
i went on vacation in june. so, i bought my sanity for $1000!!!

9) Did you know anybo​dy who got marri​ed?​
yes... melinda and joe, derek and pam, alicia and bill, and more that got engaged, jen and james, joe and heidi, chris and his woman, tom and michelle, evan and his fiance, bill and heather...just wondering when it'll be my time...


10) Did you know anybo​dy who passe​d away?​
no actually

11) Did you know anyon​e who had a baby?​
my cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and my friend vicki is expecting young william before the turn of the year.

12) Did you move anywh​ere?​
sadly no. but mike and i are planning on it!

13) What conce​rts/​shows​ did you go to?
nine inch nails -- twice!!!, anberlin, beneath the sheets, broken banner, maroon 5 w/ the counting crows & sara barielles



14) Are you regis​tered​ to vote?​
yes i am. it was my 2nd time voting...


15) Who did you want to win Big Broth​er?​
i don't really care



17) Where​ do you live now?
still in dracut.



18) Descr​ibe your birth​day?​
melissa and mike threw me a surprise bday party! and then we went to newbury port to go drinking. it was awesome!


19) What'​s one thing​ you thoug​ht you'​d never​ do but did in 2008?​
i went back to school, i pierced my lip, and im going snowboarding on saturday!! im trying to take more chances in moderation


20) What has been your favor​ite momen​t?​
my 2 year anniversary weekend with mike. starting at the phantom gourmet food festival, then driving down to connecticut where we went to the casinos and wine tasting. or, going to the lost gorge with mike. that was so much fun. or putting up the xmas tree with mike in our apartment. or when mike surprised me with a home cooked lobster dinner...but i think snowboarding on new years eve with fireworks will take the cake!

21) What'​s somet​hing you learn​ed about​ yours​elf?​
as long as i try my hardest, i can always be happy with myself.


22) Any new addit​ions to your famil​y?​
none...yet...maybe a puppy in 2009. test run for kids.


23) What was your best month​?​
september!!


24) What music​ will you remem​ber 2008 by?
anything sarah barielles! i love her. i feel like when i listen to her, i can just relate


25) Who has been your best drink​ing buddy​?​
ummmm, im gonna have to say austin, colin, and dani! hahaha!!

27) New frien​d?​
several! austin, colin, dani, evan

28) Favor​ite Night​ out?
sushi with everyone!!!!!

29) Do you think​ 2009 will be bette​r or worse​?​
i think it will be better. hopefully i will be accepted to pharmacy school, michael and i will have a place of our own. i will graduate middlesex. and maybe an engagement come our 3 year anniversary. these are my hopes and dreams. and i feel like i finally have a solid direction with the most amazing man by my side. i dont think i could be any happier!!

3rd - 1st day back to college

hopefully, 3rd time's a charm. ::crosses fingers::

woke up at 7 this morning to my freshly cleaned, spacious, re-done studio. perhaps this year will be better now that i have a brighter perspective on school. my routine was normal. ate breakfast so i wouldn't get the hungry/nervous gurgles in my belly. didn't care what i wore today, after all, this is my third, first day back to school and lets face it, no one really cars. i don't have anyone to impress. i packed my bag the night before. only things i needed were munchies, and sneakers for when i go to work after school.

first day back is the busiest. 2 classes and a lab to be completed all by 2:30. the first class always is the worst. my english class consisted of a big circle of student bodies half coherent from being 8:30AM. we interviewed another person and then had to introduce them to class. from just sitting there, already the thought of "man, i should've skipped," came to mind. old habits die hard i guess.

to be honest, i feel like a failure. it's my second time around waiting for my school ID. my second time around for getting a library card, which came to $10.20 worth of fines from a research paper i borrowed books 3 years ago (...and returned on time might i add). already, school is turning out to be disappointing.

doesn't help that i must make 3 - $500 payments for my tuition. just knowing what my bills would cost was egging on dropping all of my classes and crawling back to mass general.

i guess if i can pull it together this semester will be a triumph.

until then...

Not All That Glitters Is Gold

Ahh Boston. The "Medical Capital of the World." I work in one of the world's most prestigious hospitals - Massachusetts General Hospital. I've been here since January 14 of this year. I must say, where I thought I belonged isn't where I want to be. In the past few months, I've grown stress, and very tired. And in the last 3 weeks, I've filed a sexual harrasment complaint.

For anyone that has gone through this, you know that it is very degrading. I wake up every morning wondering if what I'm wearing will provoke comments. Is this shirt low cut? Is what I'm wearing flattering? Does this make me look sexy? Its sad when khakis, a T shirt, glasses, and my hair up in a pony tail, face with no make up, gets the comments I do.

The hypocracy is to much to bear. Kim, while you're in the middle of doing something, please go do a million other things so the rest of our staff can sit and do nothing because they are friends with your boss.

I'm always more than willing to do my fair share, and if I'm not busy, I feel useless. Therefore, always finding something to do - bottles to put away, totes to be filled, pills to be double counted, insurance claims to be fixed, or new prescriptions to type. I always smile and let everything roll off.

"Remember," I say to myself, "don't take things personally." But how can't you, when patients throw medications at you, and scream in your face saying "You don't do your job." How can't you when you have a pharmacist telling you that you're sexy and voluptious. How can't you, when you have a bitchy pharmacist underming the quality of work I do.

How can you not take it personally when you put your heart and soul into your job and get nothing in return but shit? How can I still care about people that are so unappreciative? And if your answer is that I get paid to, I guess I'm nothing more than a prostitute of the health care system.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I NEED A VACATION!

What's in store for 2008

So far, 2008 feels the same at 2007.

Yesterday, I had the joy of calling my career services councelor at school to tell her that I would no longer need her shitty assistance. How many times do you need to hear "NO" to RiteAid? I don't want the job. It pays crap and I don't want to deal with MA Health insurance on a bi-minute basis. Carol, the councelor, was shocked and amazing that I'd landed myself a job at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. She told me I was a ground breaker for that school. But honestly, it's nothing the school prepared me for. And it's great to know I did everything on my own. I didn't ask people I knew for a job nor did I rely on daddy's connections either. I feel accomplished and excited. Not only did I get an offer from MA General, but also North Shore Medical, Harvard Vanguard, and Boston's Children's Hospital. :)

I'm also trying to become healthier. Salad and special k cereal are my newest changes to my diet. I've been trying to do atleast 30 mins of cardio each day. I feel much better and have more energy.

My sister's make over has inspired me to do the same. After all, with a new job, comes a new wardrobe. I'm trying to purchase more basic mix and match pieces. Thank goodness for New York & Company. It's nice to find pants that actually fit me without any alterations. Sweaters and more dress pieces are a must. I feel more confident and ready to enter my career with a bang!

The biggest year for me yet!

If I were to write a book of my life, 2007 would be my most intense chapter. In 2007, so much has happened. I'm not just saying this because 2008 is closing in. I'm saying this because it's the truth. I see my friends doing the same thing day in and day out. Working stiffs, slaving over that 9-5 job and then sitting in traffic as the precious time passes them by.

Last holiday season was hard to endure. With the restaurant closing, I watched as our Ding Ho family comprised of all the happy little Chinese cooks, waitresses, and my immediate family finding themselves with out jobs. It was hard to go through. It was hard answering questions about why the restaurant closed, and even harder letting it all go. As much as I hated the business consuming my parents' lives, I still loved what it meant to me. It's a place I could go where I knew I could find my family. Even my grandmother worked with us. It was home. I watched as my parents went on unemployment. I worried for them. What would happen to the family? What would happen to our home? What would happen to me?

Last Thanksgiving, my dad and I butted heads as usual. He hated me working dead end jobs. So on a whim, I enrolled at Lincoln Technical Institute in Lowell. I was to become a pharmacy technician. At first, I didn't know if I even wanted to be in that program. But as the modules rolled by, I grew to love it.

In 2007, my relationship with Michael was almost at an end. But I learned to become a bigger person, as my sister would say. Regardless, I loved my Michael whole hearted. And because of that, we're stronger today. I'm grateful for him and for his support through the past year. He's been my rock.

March came. My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors gave her 3 months to live. It's funny how you think someone will live forever. God, we joked that she'd out live me. She was almost 90. She was a strong woman. It's hard to realize she's gone. Her and I never got along. All the years that I'd get punished for my brother's wrong doings. All the Saturday morning lectures she'd give us which was like listening to a recording over and over. The crazy folk tales she'd tell us of the old country. Tigers eating baby girls in the mountains and the thunder god kicking off our heads for not eating every grain of rice. Such nonsense. As the cancer spread, I found myself with the responsibility of taking care of her. My cell phone would be on at all times. Making calls to the house to make sure she was alright and comfortable was automatic. I'd leave class early to give her morphine and a glass of water, and tuck her in at night. Telling her that I'd see her in the morning. Though my grades suffered for my absence, it was an honor to take care of my family. It was so painful watching someone once so strong, to slip into elderly infancy. Constantly needing help to walk and eat whether she'd accept it or not.

My whole family came from all over to spend time with her. And we had a dinner to honor her life and my family. She was happy. I remember she kept worrying where my sister and I were before. And the night of the dinner she met Michael and she met Mark. It was nice to know she approved of them. She kept telling us to make sure we cooked for them and to keep the family well fed. Silly things like that I never understood. I remember my aunt went to a psychic a few years back after my grandfather passed in 1997. My grandfather told my aunt that he couldn't go anywhere because he passed away at my aunt's house but he couldn't visit my grandmother because Luke, my dog, wouldn't let him in. Turns out, my grandmother never burned his passport. My grandmother passed on July 4th right after the fireworks when everyone went home. In Chinese culture, fireworks ward off the evil spirits allowing safe passage for the traveling souls. I got a phone call from my brother no soon than my arrival at my apartment.

In 2007, my dad was offered at full time job. My mom went back to school. Things were alright without the restaurant. I turned 21 this year. Most people say it's no big deal. To me, it marks my entrance into adult hood. And to officially mark it, I got a tattoo to honor my family.

I graduated school with a 3.79 GPA. I passed my National Certification Exam. My dad and I are closer than ever. Michael and I are happily in love. And I have an offer to work at Mass General Hospital.

For Christmas, my dad finally said that he was proud of me. Mike gave me a promise ring. Life is finally falling into place. I couldn't ask for a more perfect Christmas!

2008 is going to be a great year!! I look forward to it with open arms!